By Liora Brosbe, Jewish LearningWorks’ Senior Educator
One of the things I love about engaging in Jewish rituals is that I often have to revisit the “why” and “how” in order to refresh my brain. Especially for rituals that happen once a year or even less! Does the mezuzah lean towards the house or away? What do you leave out when reciting havdalah after a holiday that ends on a weekday? How do you account for Shabbat challah when Passover starts on Saturday night (get ready, 2025/5785 — it’s happening!).
Go ahead and look up the answers — open book/google is the way to go. All for the sake of Heaven!
Speaking of heaven, the Jewish approach to engaging in disagreements in a productive way is called Machloket L’shem Shamayim or disagreements for the sake of heaven.
One of the most famous examples of this kind of conflict is between the schools (“Houses”) of Rabbi Hillel and Rabbi Shammai. In this fabulous BimBam video on the Hillel/Shammai disputes, Rabbi Dr. Daniel Roth outlines four key takeaways in order to have healthy conflict, or disagreements for the sake of heaven. He suggests:
Debate the issues without attacking people and damaging relationships.
- Check your motivations, are you trying to win or solve problems?
- Listen to the other side and be open to admitting that you may just be wrong.
- Consider that you both might be right, even though you hold opposite positions.
An example that we often revisit this time of year is their debate about how to light the Chanukah candles, detailed in Talmud, Shabbat 21b:6. Rabbi Shammai ruled that it should resemble the sacrifices that are offered to the Temple and start with the most and decrease. Rabbi Hillel determined that we should start with just one candle and increase each night. As you likely remember, today we follow Rabbi Hillel’s ruling, placing the candles in right to left and lighting left to right:
You should put the candles in Chanukiah starting from the right to the left, increasing each day in order. Using the Shamash, light the farthest left (newest candle) first after reciting the first blessing.
Many see the light of the Chanukiah each as a metaphor for increasing light, or as Rabbi Yossi bar Zevida suggests, increasing holiness, in the world. If we can agree on anything this season, is that the world could use more light. Perhaps beyond the actual candles that bring light, our ability to have respectful, open-minded conversations with those with disparate views will be what brightens our lives. As we light our candles this year, take inspiration from Hillel and Shammai and engage in disagreements for the sake of heaven, and increase the light during this difficult time in our world.
More Learning and Resources for You
- Creating Light: Hanukkah curriculum ideal for children ages 5-8 years old by Jewish LearningWorks
- Hillel and Shammai: Disagreements for the Sake of Heaven
- The Enlightening Dispute Between Hillel and Shamai – Jewish Education By Design
- 7 phrases to teach kids to disagree respectfully-Instagram video by Gozenlove
- How to Light the Hanukkah Menorah | My Jewish Learning
- How to Light The Hanukkah Candles | PJ Library
